The Weight of Isolation

Disclaimer (because apparently we need one):

These thoughts are mine—not my wife’s, my dog’s, my friends’, or my employer’s. This blog is mostly for me (and maybe my therapist), but if you decide to stick around and read it, cool. Just know I reserve the right to respond… or totally ignore you.

I wrote this back in November 2024, in a moment when I felt completely lost and isolated.

I’m sharing it now because I believe honoring our past selves — even the ones who were hurting — is part of reclaiming our wholeness.

If you’ve ever felt alone in a crowded world, this is for you too.

I find myself feeling quite numb today, a state that has lingered for the past few days. Given the recent election results, this reaction seems somewhat understandable, yet it feels more profound than that. I realize that I haven’t spoken to my mom on the phone for over a year. While we’ve exchanged text messages, I’ve even struggled to respond to those in the past week, and it has left me feeling increasingly detached.

I am truly at a loss for what to do next. I cherish my individuality, but it’s painful to feel dismissed by so many. In crowded spaces, I often feel more isolated than when I am alone. Over the past six months, I have cried more than I ever have in my life. While there is a certain release that comes from expressing my emotions, I still find myself unsure of how to move forward.

I genuinely want to reach out to others, but I worry about coming across as a burden or seeking attention. It’s a difficult place to be, and I hope to find a way through this feeling of isolation.

I didn’t have answers then. I still don’t have all of them now.

But I know that telling the truth matters.

And reaching out, even imperfectly, matters too.